08.26.09
I am ready to move out. I am tired of seeing him every day, even if our late night talks have been helpful. We have spoken at length about our marriage, agreeing on some parts where it went wrong, disagreeing on others. I have wondered how good it is for me to continue to talk to him, but I intend to learn all I can, so that I can take these experiences and lessons learned into my next relationships, to make them better, to make some good come out of this hell.
I want my freedom. I don't want my heart to sink every time he walks in the door, or tears to fall when I see him lock himself into his room at night, when it still feels like he should be coming to bed with me. Although at a closer look, I don't want him in bed with me. He is unattractive to me, and the thought of even kissing him makes me sick.
I want to get out, and discover who I am, and learn to like me, really like me, not just believe I am whoever he tells me I am.
On a happier note, I got a job. My manager from my previous job called and asked if I needed a job, as he needed a few good people in his store. Several grueling interviews later, I have a job! One step closer to freedom.
I am ready to move out. I am tired of seeing him every day, even if our late night talks have been helpful. We have spoken at length about our marriage, agreeing on some parts where it went wrong, disagreeing on others. I have wondered how good it is for me to continue to talk to him, but I intend to learn all I can, so that I can take these experiences and lessons learned into my next relationships, to make them better, to make some good come out of this hell.
I want my freedom. I don't want my heart to sink every time he walks in the door, or tears to fall when I see him lock himself into his room at night, when it still feels like he should be coming to bed with me. Although at a closer look, I don't want him in bed with me. He is unattractive to me, and the thought of even kissing him makes me sick.
I want to get out, and discover who I am, and learn to like me, really like me, not just believe I am whoever he tells me I am.
On a happier note, I got a job. My manager from my previous job called and asked if I needed a job, as he needed a few good people in his store. Several grueling interviews later, I have a job! One step closer to freedom.
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