08.08.09
On August 8, 2009 I came home from seeing my sister in Colorado. Before I my plane took off, my facebook post read: “just touched down in phoenix, raced to make my connection because my first plane was way late and now I'm sitting on my second plane, nearly home!” I was so glad to be getting home and seeing my husband. I had a nice evening planned, just at home spending quality time with him. He met me at the airport. He had flowers waiting for me on the car seat, and I smiled, thinking what a great evening this would be.
We sat down at Fizollis, a nearby fast food restaurant. He pulled out a manila envelope and gave me this smile, a look I had seen before. It read, ‘I love you, but this will hurt you.’ In the split second before he announced it, I knew what was coming. My heart sank and my stomach turned. I began to get dizzy. I barely heard him say, “I want a divorce.”
The room swam in front of me, as our food arrived all I wanted to do was get out of there. He just began to eat. I vaguely remember him asking if I was going to eat, but I didn’t answer. I couldn’t answer. After what seemed like an eternity I followed him out to the car. He offered to let me drive home, and he would call a cab, but I couldn’t see straight, I knew there was no way I could drive.
My world was falling down around me. I knew that my entire life would change, from this point forward it would all be different. I didn’t know what to do, or where to turn. My best idea was my friend’s father. He’d been through several divorces, and at least he could give me practical advice. Besides, he had played a father figure role for me for the past several years.
After a tearful meeting with dad, I was ushered off to bed. I was physically and emotionally exhausted, but I could not fall asleep. I lay awake, dry eyed and terrified. I tried to distract myself by reading a book I had started on the plane, but to no avail. I slept very little that night.
On August 8, 2009 I came home from seeing my sister in Colorado. Before I my plane took off, my facebook post read: “just touched down in phoenix, raced to make my connection because my first plane was way late and now I'm sitting on my second plane, nearly home!” I was so glad to be getting home and seeing my husband. I had a nice evening planned, just at home spending quality time with him. He met me at the airport. He had flowers waiting for me on the car seat, and I smiled, thinking what a great evening this would be.
We sat down at Fizollis, a nearby fast food restaurant. He pulled out a manila envelope and gave me this smile, a look I had seen before. It read, ‘I love you, but this will hurt you.’ In the split second before he announced it, I knew what was coming. My heart sank and my stomach turned. I began to get dizzy. I barely heard him say, “I want a divorce.”
The room swam in front of me, as our food arrived all I wanted to do was get out of there. He just began to eat. I vaguely remember him asking if I was going to eat, but I didn’t answer. I couldn’t answer. After what seemed like an eternity I followed him out to the car. He offered to let me drive home, and he would call a cab, but I couldn’t see straight, I knew there was no way I could drive.
My world was falling down around me. I knew that my entire life would change, from this point forward it would all be different. I didn’t know what to do, or where to turn. My best idea was my friend’s father. He’d been through several divorces, and at least he could give me practical advice. Besides, he had played a father figure role for me for the past several years.
After a tearful meeting with dad, I was ushered off to bed. I was physically and emotionally exhausted, but I could not fall asleep. I lay awake, dry eyed and terrified. I tried to distract myself by reading a book I had started on the plane, but to no avail. I slept very little that night.
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