01.01.10
I surprised myself this New Years Eve by choosing to stay at home by myself. I was exhausted from the holiday season being so busy, and the thought of a long night out with friends seemed like a chore more than a fun night. I had four options for the night: I could go out clubbing with work friends-that was instantly turned down. I could hang out at another work friends house and watch Paranormal Activity, but I hate scary movies and will only watch them if there is somebody I can cling to during the scary parts. Now that I am living alone, that poses another problem as I would be too scared to sleep alone that night. I could have gone to the family of a friend and played games all night, or gone to another friends house and watch movies. The moment I had texted everybody to say I wasn't coming was the best. Relief, actually. I was in for some much needed rest.
After picking up a pizza on the way home from work, I settled in to watch a movie. I chose a romantic comedy which probably wasn't my best choice seeing as how it was a holiday and all, but I really wanted to watch it.
I was in an iffy mood all evening. Holidays are hard, I hate being alone for them. They make me sad, having nobody special to share them with. I wasn't sure if the night would end in tears, as I really could have gone either way. By eleven that evening I was still doing okay, and was becoming proud of myself. I know there is nothing wrong with crying and letting feelings out, but it feels good when I don't need to, either. The closer it grew to midnight however, the more I wondered how long I could hold on. Around eleven-thirty Jacob called, and before I knew it was well after midnight and I had made it! With no trouble at all I went to sleep that night, and woke up feeling good. No tears, no wallowing in self-pity (one reason I seriously considered going out although I didn't want to) I was fine. Probably largely due to the fact that I was on the phone, but had I really been upset a phone call wouldn't have stopped me. I was proud of myself.
First holiday with no tears, a new hurdle crossed. Here's to 2010 and a year of new experiences and happiness.
I surprised myself this New Years Eve by choosing to stay at home by myself. I was exhausted from the holiday season being so busy, and the thought of a long night out with friends seemed like a chore more than a fun night. I had four options for the night: I could go out clubbing with work friends-that was instantly turned down. I could hang out at another work friends house and watch Paranormal Activity, but I hate scary movies and will only watch them if there is somebody I can cling to during the scary parts. Now that I am living alone, that poses another problem as I would be too scared to sleep alone that night. I could have gone to the family of a friend and played games all night, or gone to another friends house and watch movies. The moment I had texted everybody to say I wasn't coming was the best. Relief, actually. I was in for some much needed rest.
After picking up a pizza on the way home from work, I settled in to watch a movie. I chose a romantic comedy which probably wasn't my best choice seeing as how it was a holiday and all, but I really wanted to watch it.
I was in an iffy mood all evening. Holidays are hard, I hate being alone for them. They make me sad, having nobody special to share them with. I wasn't sure if the night would end in tears, as I really could have gone either way. By eleven that evening I was still doing okay, and was becoming proud of myself. I know there is nothing wrong with crying and letting feelings out, but it feels good when I don't need to, either. The closer it grew to midnight however, the more I wondered how long I could hold on. Around eleven-thirty Jacob called, and before I knew it was well after midnight and I had made it! With no trouble at all I went to sleep that night, and woke up feeling good. No tears, no wallowing in self-pity (one reason I seriously considered going out although I didn't want to) I was fine. Probably largely due to the fact that I was on the phone, but had I really been upset a phone call wouldn't have stopped me. I was proud of myself.
First holiday with no tears, a new hurdle crossed. Here's to 2010 and a year of new experiences and happiness.
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