Music

To all those out there who think nobody quite understands what you are going through, Pink does. The musician, that is - not the color. I have had her newest album "Funhouse" laying around my house for months now, and had never even opened it. When I found out I would be taking that road trip I put it onto my iPod. This woman has managed to put all of the confusing feelings of divorce onto one neatly packaged CD. Every one of these songs could have been written by me. Looking back on my posts, and through my journal, songs flow from the beginning of the end, through finding your own person.

This one, "MEAN" is how I began to feel while I was in Colorado, during the time he was planning his divorce from me:

You used to hold the door for me, now you can't wait to leave
You used to send flowers if you fucked up in my dreams
I used to make you laugh with all the silly shit I did
But now you roll your eyes and walk away and shake your head

And then shortly after that day,

How did we get so mean?
How do we just move on?
How do you feel in the morning when it comes and everything's undone?
Is it cause we wanna be free? Well that's not me
Normally I'm so strong
I just can't wake up on the floor like a thousand times before

And this one, "One foot wrong" I can relate to for sure, and I know many of you can as well:

Am I sweating
Or are these tears on my face?
Should I be hungry?
I can't remember the last time that I ate
Call someone, I need a friend to talk me down

All the lights are on but I'm in the dark
Who's gonna find me? Who's gonna find me?
Just one foot wrong
You'll have to love me when I'm gone

It's the despair that I felt, and the anger and the happiness at freedom...it's all found in this CD. I was driving along, somewhere between the California border and Flagstaff, Arizona that I set my iPod to this album. I began to cry somewhere in the middle of the first song. I cried through most of the album, but came out of it feeling better than ever. I must have played it through three or four times, and again on the way home.

Many of you have asked questions regarding a comment I made about how I have a constant running soundtrack through my head, and what songs would play during certain times. I have a good example of this, which I will post at a future date. Certain CD's however, ring relevant. LeAnn Womack's CD "I Hope you Dance" is another one, but it is rather depressing. I have tried to refrain from very sad, down songs, as I knew that my goal was to bring myself up, not allow myself to be dragged down even further.