A...celebration?

My date with the fireman has been moved to next week because I broke my wrist/rib/skull this week. I'm fine, they are all small fractures but it is rather painful to do much. yesterday was the six-month mark, and the date for the finalization for my divorce. Monday the paperwork will file with the county, and I will officially be single. I spent the morning setting up a new stereo system , which has reminded me of my ex. He always did these things, I never enjoyed it. Trying to do it myself is...daunting. But I did it, I even built the new entertainment center, broken bones and all.The stereo system has an iPod dock which is the best feature in my opinion because I love having music playing all the time, it makes the house seem not so quiet.

 February 20, 2010

I got many many phone calls from friends throughout the day, everybody knew I had chosen to stay home until going out with friends that evening. I only answered about half of the calls, and kept most of those conversations short and tried to allow time to grieve.  My therapist said it would feel like a death, and she is right. I am having trouble deciding if I am happy or not for my marriage being over. One minute I am crying, the next pretty happy. Smiling even. These emotions are crazy. I am now bracing myself for Monday as I don't have a lot of friends around that day to distract me.


I went out with friends in the evening, and that was a disaster. I shouldn't have expected everybody to really come through...though in the end it was okay. After dinner I went with another friend to the home of a couple that lives pretty much in my back yard. We were going to watch Zombieland (hilarious movie) and play some games...just allow me to relax from the stressful events of the dinner party.


Here's the thing. I had been thinking about drinking a lot lately. I have a few friends who drink on occasion, and...I guess it is just all the changes I am making in myself, and trying so many new things (I have labeled 2010 "the year of new experiences" for myself) that I have become..I don't know how to say it, curious I guess. The idea has been rolling around in my head for a while, and last night I guess I was ready. So under the safety of a few trusted friends I had a couple of (very light) drinks. I have to say, it was nice to feel so relaxed. I don't think this is something I would do all the time, but I am not as against it as I was.


The evening turned out okay in the end, this particular couple has always come through for me during the worst times, I am not surprised that it was them who helped make my night okay. I woke up this morning in a good mood and am hoping it will last throughout the day.