11.08.09
It's been a rough day. I learned some things about him that...really hurt. They leave me wondering where I fit, if anybody can ever love me the way I loved him. Not in the sense that they would fight in vain, or hurt themselves because that is pathetic and wrong. But in the way that they would look forward to coming home to me at the end of the day. That they would celebrate with me and cry with me. That they would share their triumphs and pitfalls with me. That they would allow me to love them in my deep, unwavering way, and not resent me for the hugs and smiles and kisses I give.
I know these fears are directly intertwines with my shattered confidence. I worry that nobody can see me for who I am, and love me for it. Is there anybody who will be patient enough to take the time to get to know me enough to love me? Although I am doing all I can to make necessary repairs, there are some things that can only be learned from within the depths of a good relationship.
It's been a rough day. I learned some things about him that...really hurt. They leave me wondering where I fit, if anybody can ever love me the way I loved him. Not in the sense that they would fight in vain, or hurt themselves because that is pathetic and wrong. But in the way that they would look forward to coming home to me at the end of the day. That they would celebrate with me and cry with me. That they would share their triumphs and pitfalls with me. That they would allow me to love them in my deep, unwavering way, and not resent me for the hugs and smiles and kisses I give.
I know these fears are directly intertwines with my shattered confidence. I worry that nobody can see me for who I am, and love me for it. Is there anybody who will be patient enough to take the time to get to know me enough to love me? Although I am doing all I can to make necessary repairs, there are some things that can only be learned from within the depths of a good relationship.
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